Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and neediness are two sides of the same coin.
A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he's insecure when he ACTS on these needs.
Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in the situation that he's in. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence that is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.
Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.
Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:
- Hanging on a woman. Don't touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take this as neediness and insecurity. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you.
- Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk to much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure.
- Having emotional responses to things. If it's obvious to a woman that you will get upset about things easily, then she will judge you to be insecure.
- Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what's going to happen, then do it. If you are always asking "Well, what do you think I should do?" and "Where do you want to go tonight?" and "What do you want?" you'll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she'll let you know.
- Saying or doing things to just to be noticed or to get compliments. I've known a lot of men who try to act cool or show off to get attention. This telegraphs to a woman that you're insecure and needy. Don't do it. If you're cool, she'll figure it out without you telling her.
- Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you're one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you're insecure and needy. You may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really want to argue with something, do it in a funny way, not in a serious way.